“The royal college of psychiatrists have just released a report saying people over 65 should drink less booze. Is this really a serious problem? Is Britain filled with hammered pensioners kicking off during a football match when denied a tenth pint of noxious, continental lager? Last time we checked, it’s not grannies falling out of night clubs in tiny skirts, their faces smeared in a crimson fright mask of tear-stained make up mixed with shame. It’s not members of the British legion passing out in the gutter clutching a bottle of cheap cider. Police cells aren’t overflowing on a friday night with the cast of dads army, having been caught brawling over which is the best vera lynn record.
Anyway, if you’ve managed to reach retirement age without a hitch, the least you deserve is a drink. Let them have their booze, they’ve earned it.”—yes, comedy central!